BY STELLA DUFFY
On Friday we start rehearsing Expectations. For the past few weeks I’ve felt it rising in me – that feeling of a new beginning. There is nervousness, a little fear, some excitement, but above all, curiosity. I don’t know what we’ll be doing. I have not planned.
Emma has worked hard on this, her first play. She has taken it from an experience to an idea to a showing, and then a major reworking/rewriting to be the script we are about to work with.
I’ve worked on it with her as script editor, encouraging bravery and guts, encouraging ripping it apart and bringing it back together again. In encouraging her I was, of course, encouraging myself. I would never suggest another writer make any leaps I wouldn’t make myself, but I’ve also been impressed (and inspired) by her willingness to REALLY pull it apart and start again. To REALLY go as far as she can with it, on the page, as the writer. It has made me braver as a writer.
Now it’s time for us, the cast, the designers, the sound and vision makers, the show sellers-and-sharers, the company, to begin to make it. To take the thing that was Emma’s idea and made once to show, to share, to experience, to try out, then re-made on paper, to leap in and do the same for ourselves.
To rip it apart (gently), to push ourselves further than we know how to go (kindly), to make big offers (bravely), to accept them (generously). Our turn to take what is now on the page and, over the next five and half weeks (working part time then full time), to make it into a show.
And the reason I have been growing this feeling of anticipation is that I don’t know what my role will be. Not yet. I have been script editor and now I will be director. But with each new play I find out again what that is.