On Being In It - Stella Duffy
We are making work slowly at the moment, so slowly it doesn't actually feel like making work at all. But we are doing it, because we - a core of Shaky Isles who know we enjoy working together, learning with and from each other, who have decided to work together, to give time monthly, sometimes fortnightly, regularly, to creating a piece together – are becoming an ensemble. I can feel it happening. It is quick quick slow. It is like choreography and cooking. It is like a new thing I have no simile for.
We have made together in Shaky Isles. We have made together in Chaosbaby http://www.chaosbabyproject.co.uk/. We have made together as friends and in many other guises and formations, on other shows and other pieces of work.
We have not – before now – made together as the seven that we are.
We are becoming. It's hard sometimes, to be becoming. To not be there yet, to not be finished yet, to not yet know what the story is.
Which is interesting, because being becoming, not being there yet, not being finished yet, not yet knowing the story, is exactly what we do to be alive. If we are finished, if we know what we are doing and have done, then there is no more story to be told. Then we are done.
I’m not ready to be done.
But even so, I recognise the uncertainty, the fear, the lower belly tremor, of staying in a place of not knowing.
Our culture does not like us to be not-knowing, especially as artists, as makers, as 'creative people'. Our culture likes us to pretend we have the answers.
There are times I would like to have the answers. Or to pretend I do. It would be far easier to lie and assure everyone I know what I’m talking about all the time.